A Mom's Perspective: My Kids Brush Their Teeth. But Are They Brushing Well?

What toothbrushing looks like in my house with a kindergartener, a third grader, and a mom trying to balance independence with knowing their teeth are actually getting clean.

By Katie Chrobak, Willo team + mom of two

I'm a mom of a kindergartener and a third grader, and I've learned that being able to brush independently and actually brushing well are not the same thing. This is what that looks like in our family, and why toothbrushing has been one of the harder routines for me to fully hand over.

I have a kindergartener who can't tie his shoes yet and is still working on writing his name clearly. A really good brush for him still means me doing it, and that's a battle neither of us has the energy for most nights.

Then there's my third grader. She's busy with activities, homework and daydreaming. She does most of her routines on her own now, including brushing her teeth. She knows how to brush. She's scared of getting a cavity. She knows taking care of her teeth is important.

Does she brush well some days? Absolutely. Does she rush sometimes? Probably. Does she miss spots? I would bet on it. Has she admitted there have been a few times she told me she brushed when she didn't? Yep.

That's the thing I've realized: knowing how to brush and actually doing it well are two different things.

I want my kids to brush independently. I just want to know they're doing it well.

I'm pretty comfortable letting my kids figure things out. If my kindergartener puts his shirt on backwards, we'll survive. If my third grader forgets something in her backpack, she'll probably remember it tomorrow. If they make their beds terribly, I genuinely do not care.

Those are easy places to give them independence. The stakes are low, I can usually see when something went wrong, and most mistakes are easy to fix.

Toothbrushing is different because I just don't know.

I can't look at my daughter's teeth after she brushes and know she missed a back molar. I don't know that she rushed three nights this week or if there's one spot she's consistently missing. And unlike a backwards shirt or a forgotten homework folder, there can be a real consequence to getting it wrong over and over again.

That's what makes toothbrushing harder for me to hand over.

Twice a year, I find out how we're doing

There are really only two times a year when I feel like I get a report card on their teeth: at the dentist. And there's always a little anxiety walking into those appointments. Are their teeth okay? Did we miss something? Is there going to be a cavity?

It's strange when I think about it. We brush twice a day, every day, but I can go months without really knowing how well it's going.

With my kindergartener, I know when his teeth get a good brush because I'm usually involved. With my third grader, I'm trusting her.

And I do trust her. She's also a kid. She's tired sometimes. She's distracted. She's in a hurry. Sometimes she just wants to be done. Knowing what to do doesn't mean doing it well every time.

I don't want to wait for the dentist to find out

I don't want to keep doing everything for my kids. I want them to become independent. My kindergartener needs more help right now. My third grader needs less. That's exactly how it should be.

What I don't love is feeling like I have to choose between giving them that independence and feeling confident their teeth are actually getting clean.

That's probably the biggest thing Willo has changed for me. I don't have to expect my kindergartener to have skills he doesn't have yet, and I don't have to expect my third grader to get everything right just because she is a responsible kid.

They can own more of the routine without so much riding on how well they happen to brush that day. And I don't have to wait six months wondering if it was enough.

That's why I love what we're building at Willo. It's built around real families, real kids and the different stages they're actually in. I want my kids to learn to do things on their own. I just don't think clean teeth should depend on them getting it right every single time.

Katie
Willo team + mom of two

Want to know why Willo works differently? Learn how Willo takes the guesswork out of kids' brushing →